The Preacher's Ears (A Guest Post)
Rev. Kyndall Rae Rothaus is a preacher, poet, feminist theologian, and spiritual director. She is the author of Thy Queendom Come: Breaking Free from Patriarchy to Save Your Soul (2021) and Preacher Breath (2015). She is the co-founder and Executive Director of Nevertheless She Preached and the founder of The Soul of Preaching Project. Kyndall is an award-winning preacher and spoken word artist. She spent eight years as a Senior Pastor in Baptist churches in Texas, where, among other things, she left a legacy of fighting for LGBTQ+ inclusion in the church. Kyndall is a queer woman and the single mom of two adopted children who are the biggest joys of her life.
She’ll be speaking to The Collective Plus on Thursday, August 11, at 2:30 CT.
At my first funeral as a pastor, a guest remarked with surprise that I had done a great job.
Clearly it was his first time to encounter a female pastor, hence the surprise.
Then he added that he would never attend my church because he couldn’t get used to the sound of my voice.
Unconscious Sexism
Fast forward a decade and I am leading a workshop with my colleague and sociologist Dr. Katie Lauve-Moon called Undoing Gender, helping moderate to progressive congregations address their unconscious sexism.
Dr. Lauve-Moon is giving real life examples of the way women in leadership are dismissed due to things like their choice of clothing, wearing lipstick, not wearing lipstick, the sound of their voice.
A man raises his hand, eager to help. “You know, there are classes women can take to help lower their voices,” he offers.
Katie and I exchange a telepathic eye roll, wondering which of us should address his comment. A woman from the congregation jumps in before we do.
“Or,” she points out, “congregations could learn to stop expecting women to sound like men.”
Centering Other Voices
In 2017 my colleague Rev. Natalie Webb and I cofounded Nevertheless She Preached, an annual preaching event designed to elevate the voices of women. We are unlike any other Christian-based conference in that we exclusively center the voices of women and queer folx, especially women of color.
To be clear, we actively encourage men to attend our conference. We want them to attend, but at our conference, men take a seat not a microphone.
As a result, few men attend.
One of our board members recently reached out to a male colleague, encouraging him to come to the conference and get his congregation involved in the event. He responded that he would see if the women of his church were interested.
I’m not sure if he read her email asking him to attend and ignored it, or if he just skimmed her words and assumed a conference with “she” in the title wasn’t for him.
Either way, he did not hear her.
We all live in a world in which we have been conditioned NOT to hear.
Specifically, we have been conditioned not to hear the voices of women and other marginalized persons. We blame it on their voices, or their style. We pretend that they aren’t really talking to us, or that they don’t know what they are talking about.
I think of the disciples dismissing the women’s report that Jesus had risen from the dead. “It’s just an idle tale,” they said in response to the greatest news they would ever hear. They almost missed the defining miracle of our faith . . . because it was told to them by a woman.
The Miracle of Pentecost: Tongues Or Ears?
I’ve always been fascinated by the miracle at Pentecost, when the Spirit fell on men and women alike and everyone heard the gospel being spoken in their own language. Was this a miracle of tongues, as we so often refer to it? Or was it also a miracle of ears? Was it the tongues that were loosed, or the ears that were opened, or both?
Every preacher needs to develop an ear before they develop a voice.
Since Jesus spent his ministry with those on the margins, it seems to me we preachers have nothing much to say until we’ve spent some time in those margins and with the people who dwell there. The closer to the center of power and privilege you are positioned, the more deeply you are in need of the miracle of ears.
Who are you listening to?
I wonder: Who are you listening to these days?
Are you picking up the latest popular books or do you sit at the feet of people who haven’t sold as many copies but are sharing from a deeper well?
Are you quoting the same old writers from whom you’ve always drawn wisdom or are you mixing it up with fresh voices?
Are you tuning in to a solo or the full choir?
Who are you purposefully straining your ear to hear without requiring them to speak up or get more famous before you will listen?
Which books are in your queue and who authored them?
Have you asked the Holy Spirit for a Pentecost-like widening of your ear? Softened your defenses so the truth can slip in from a new angle?
If you don’t know where to start, come join us at Nevertheless She Preached. There is no other preaching conference like it because this is an event where everyone with privilege takes a posture of listening while those on the margins are given an unapologetic megaphone.
And it turns out this is a recipe for the Holy to make an entrance.
Pentecost magic happens every time.
All you have to do is show up and let the ears of your heart be opened.
What if?
I often hear preachers make jokes about being long-winded.
“You should haven’t asked a preacher to give the toast,” we say and laugh, as if everyone expects a preacher to talk a lot.
But shouldn’t it be the opposite?
What if we were known for our listening, so quiet and reflective and absorbent that when we finally opened our mouths, the people leaned in to catch it?
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