See Yourself as Beloved—and Change the World
I learned a journaling practice that has changed my life.
It’s a combination of practices I learned from two author-teachers:
Jacob Nordby, who wrote The Creative Cure: How Finding and Freeing Your Inner Artist Can Heal Your Life (a book I highly recommend)
Amie McNee, from whom I learned the art of affirmation during journaling during a writer’s retreat. She’s a writing coach you can find at The Inspired Collective.)
Between the two, the practice has changed my life.
Because of this journaling practice:
I am more in tune with myself and my needs
I extend self-compassion consistently and abundantly
I’ve tapped into something unexpected: consistent affirmation from the Spirit who sees and knows—more than anyone else ever could—all my day-to-day challenges.
The Practice
Jacob Nordby taught me the questions.
Amie McNee taught me the affirmations.
The Spirit taught me the dialogue.
This is what I mean: I talk to myself in my journal to affirm that in God’s eyes I am wondrously and marvelously made, that I have been marked through baptism as Christ’s own forever, and there is no where I can go—not even to the depths of Sheol—where God does not go with me.
I write each question in turn using one color of pen (let’s say blue) representing my inner self and the Holy Spirit, each of whom take delight in me as a beloved child of God. They show up for me.
I respond in a different color of pen, like green. (More about this below.)
Part 1: The Questions
What am I feeling right now?
Many of us are dis-integrated.
That is, we are not operating as an integrated, whole person.
We cut parts of ourselves off and compartmentalize them.
Checking in with our feelings helps us notice and celebrate our entire, blessed selves.
Be honest: from the physical, to the spiritual, to the emotional, what are you actually feeling?
Physical: Mentally scan your body to see what’s happening and where, noting places of comfort, discomfort, chronic aches and pains, and energy level.
Spiritual: What’s in harmony with God, and where are you struggling? Do you feel dry? Brimming over? Are you holding anything back or able to tell God everything on your heart, on your mind, and pent up in your gut?
Emotional: What’s happening? Are you feeling hopeful? Anxious? Bogged down? Or maybe grateful for another day to be alive.
What do I need right now?
In the same way we may go through our days dis-integrated from our whole selves, we may also go through our days dis-integrated from our needs.
Many of us got the message loud and clear from parents, siblings, or even friends that what we need doesn’t count, doesn’t matter, or should be subsumed under someone else’s needs that are more important.
Here in your journal, you get to claim your needs.
What do you need physically, emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually?
It’s OK to say what might feel silly or unimportant.
That’s just your inner critic stepping in to make sure you haven’t forgotten about them. Thank them for their contribution and say what you need just the same.
Maybe you need a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the crusts cut off the bread.
Maybe you need a brain break to go read ten pages of a mystery.
Maybe you need to take a walk or a fifteen-minute nap, or rest in ten minutes of contemplation.
Whatever you need right now is fair—because you and your needs matter.
What would I love right now?
This is the fun part! This is where your imagination and longing get together.
What would bring you delight, awe, and gratitude?
What would happen if you allowed yourself to dive into and give chase through the rabbit holes of your curiosity?
What creative pursuits would you love to engage that would unleash the way you experience the world?
What would you love for your life and the world to look like if it were filled with contentment, security, and dignity?
What would you love to see if the reign of God popped up like a geyser right in front of you? What would be different?
Let your imagination run wild like it did when you were a kid.
Part 2: Affirmation through Dialogue
I ask a question in blue, I answer in green, but before I go on to the next question, I let the Spirit respond.
I write a response from the Holy Spirit and my inner self—and receive pastoral care.
My emotions, desires, and disappointments are affirmed.
I get pats on the back for trying my best.
I’m told that I’m loved, valued, and cherished just as I always have been.
I am reminded that I’m never alone, that I am resilient, strong, and capable.
I am seen. I matter.
And that, more than anything else, is changing my life.
As Amie McNee told us during a seminar, absolutely no one knows, or can know, everything we go through except ourselves.
No friend, spouse, therapist, or spiritual director has all the details except us—and God.
No one else knows just what it takes for us to get through a day and come through it still going.
We who are believers also know that no one can offer us the full measure of our worth except God.
No one else will help us bask in being loved more than the Spirit can or does.
When we know we’re loved, know it deeply, reverently, gratefully, we change. Our preaching changes. Our relationships change.
The world gets changed.
FAQ’s
Your inner critic may be popping up at this point to say that you can’t do this because you don’t have time, or you’d feel silly talking to yourself, or you don’t deserve the affirmations.
I urge you to try it.
How often should I journal?
Even once can make a difference.
Any amount of checking in with yourself and hearing the Spirit’s affirmations will matter.
The more you engage the practice the more you’ll catch yourself talking to yourself throughout the day like you would a beloved child.
How much Do I write?
Write as much as you have time for.
I journal Monday-Friday for fifteen minutes during The Backstory Preaching Collective/+ “Read and Pray” daily session.
However, there’s no daily or weekly requirement.
You can write it out or take dictation, for five minutes or thirty.
You also don’t have to answer each question thoroughly, or each question daily.
Write the amount that brings you joy!
This practice is changing my life, and I believe it can change yours, too.
Have you considered the Mentorship?
The primary purpose of the 1:1 mentoring, small group meetings, sermon appraisals, and mentor lessons is to affirm and re-affirm your belovedness, your call, your gifts, and your opportunities to lay down the burdens of perfectionism and overwhelm—and to see what changes in your life, family, and congregation as you do,
Your mentor and a group of peers will offer affirmations and encouragement, and help you dive ever more deeply into your authentic preaching voice.
You’ll discover over the course of the year that you are more beloved than you ever thought.
If you’d like to better understand what this means, learn more about next year’s Mentorship!